One day at a time!

Jesus Calling seems to be spot on lately! I've taken on a new attitude, since returning from my trip to Honduras. It's an attitude of letting go of self! Way easier said than done.  But I am working on it, not willing to give up, because I know God's not through with me yet!

Below is the devotion written by Sarah Young and my ramblings in the {brackets}

Stop trying to work things out before their times have come.

{How often do I do this trying to rush God, as if I could! Thinking God isn't listening if He doesn't respond my way,in my time!}

Accept the limitations of living one day at a time.  {Ask fir help, knowing it's impossible with out God}{So much easier said than done, But not impossible}

When something comes to your attention, ask Me whether or not it is part of today’s agenda. If it isn’t, release{don't keep going back for it } it into My care and go on about today’s duties. When you follow this practice, there will be a beautiful simplicity about your life: a time for everything, and everything in its time.

A life lived close to Me is not complicated or cluttered. {I am seeing that more and more, even though my circumstances haven't changed my perspective on them has!}

When your focus is on My Presence, many things that once troubled you lose their power over you. {Those things lose the power they once held over you}

Though the world around you is messy and confusing, remember that I have overcome the world. I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have Peace. {Such amazing peace. A peace that cannot be faked, altered,or copied. A peace you can only get from Christ!}

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. —Ecclesiastes 3:1

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” —John 16:33

God has been using so many things around me to speak His truth and His peace unto me, from my morning bible reading, (Daniel), my devotions (Jesus Calling ), our small group study (The Circle Maker), and  even songs on the radio. I know I am always growing, stretching, learning, about Christ and His role in my life, and I am excited to see what God reveals to me, in His timing of course. So for now it will be One day at a time.

Control!

The following is a Jesus Calling Devotion from the other day that just really spoke to my heart! I added my  notes in { these brackets} 

This is a time in your life when you must LET GO: {release whatever it is that is blocking  you from complete dependence/trust in God} of Loved Ones, of Possessions, of Control. {I have control issues, I don't  always need to be in control, but I do like to know whats going to happen, and when!  I Like Plans, Order!} In Order to let go of something that's precious to you, you need to rest {refresh, unwind, unbend, slowdown, recharge} in My {God's} Presence, where you are complete! {Complete/whole in His presence!}

Take time {unhurried, linger, without haste} to bask in the Light of My Love.  As you relax more and more, your gripping hand gradually opens up, releasing {set free, liberate, remove restrictions} your prized possessions into My care.  

You can feel secure {certain,  freedom from anxiety/fear}, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness {knowledge of, alertness, familiarity, understanding, recognition} of My Continual Presence.  The One Who Never Leaves you is the same as the One Who Never Changes: I am the Same, today, and forever! 

As you release more and more things into My Care, remember that I Never Let Go of your hand! Herein Lies your security, which no one and no circumstance can take from you. 


{My Ramblings}:  I think this spoke so much to me because even though I don't consider myself to be a control freak, I do lean closer to that side of the line than to completely be free to not worry, stress, plan, etc... I know as I grow in my faith {I believe that we can continue to grow our faith everyday until we are no longer on this earth} that I will be able to Let Go more easily, and not feel the need to plan, worry, etc..  I also know and believe that the more I bask in God's Truth and Love the more I take time to linger in His Presence the closer I am to releasing or setting free those things that I try so desperately to hold on to! 

 Such great things to remember! Let Go and Let God!

 When I think of my need for control I am reminded of how hunters catch monkeys in the wild!  The monkey is a pretty stubborn animal, and so they put a treat in a coconut shell with a hole big enough for a monkey to fit his hand in.  The stubbornness of the monkey won't allow it to let go of or release it's grasp on the treat inside the coconut shell and therefore becomes trapped, and even killed because of it!  I wonder how many times I have been so focused on the unseen "treat" inside the coconut shell that I can't let go and allow God's freedom to surround me? 

Psalm 89:15

 Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are the people who know the joyful sound [who understand and appreciate the spiritual blessings symbolized by the feasts]; they walk, O Lord, in the light and favor of Your countenance!

Hebrews 13:8

Jesus Christ (the Messiah) is [always] the same, yesterday, today, [yes] and forever (to the ages).

Isaiah 41:13

 For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you!

Father Thank You, that you are in control that you can take my rambling, bumbling mess and make it into something beautiful, the brokenness in me can be used for your glory. Thank you for your Word, and Truth! 

Sow Seeds!

It's been some time since I've blogged, no reason really other than I haven't felt like I had anything of significance to say. Not sure if what I will say today is of any significance or not but I am feeling prompted by God to be obedient and I want so much to be obedient to His calling in the "BIG things" so I need to be obedient in the "small things" as well.
I just returned from my second trip to Honduras to serve and work with Open Doors Ministries there, and also with My Brothers Keeper Ministries. The trip was amazing! Life changing! Inspiring! An Answer to Prayer!  Healing! and so much more.

I have to give you some background to understand how I got to right now!  Here goes something:

For the past few months I have felt alone, isolated, abandoned by God, I know He wasn't pulling away it was all me.  I can't even pinpoint the exact moment it happened it just sorta started and rather than drop to my knees in prayer, I sat by and allowed it to happen.  I caused friction in relationships, disillusion in ministry, and helplessness in everything.  I felt alone, misunderstood, under appreciated, and abandoned. No matter what I tried it wasn't working! Then the depression started to creep in.  I wasn't ready to end everything, but I knew that I wasn't feeling like my typical self.  I was doing an okay job of faking it, and putting on the smile like everything was okay but it wasn't.  

The couple of weeks leading up to the trip were busy, and so I continued to push it off, this feeling.  It wasn't until we were on the plane to Honduras that I let my self think about it, and pray! It was superficial at first, but that's a great thing about God, He can take our ramblings and use them to bring Him glory.  All through out our time in Honduras He spoke healing to my heart! Through the smiles and hugs and laughter of the children in the Orphanage and at the girls home.  Even at the feeding station. 

We arrived late Friday Night and checked into our hotel and tried to sleep.  I was restless most of the night!  I heard every little sound.  It was not a good start, but God has a funny way of using even those annoyances to show His glory . We met for breakfast, devotions, and were on the long drive to Tocoa before 7:30 am. When Saturday night came I was worn out! (that's not good the first day!) As I journal ed and prayed that night I read Psalm 119: 33-40 and wrote this as my prayer:

God, Teach Me lessons for living so that I can stay the course. Give me insight so I can do what You tell me- my whole life one long obedient  response. Guide Me down the road of your commandments: I love traveling this freeway! Give me a bent for your words of wisdom, and not for piling up loot. Divert my eyes from toys and trinkets.  Invigorate me on the pilgrim way.  Affirm your promises to me-promises made to all who fear you.  Deflect the  harsh words of my critics-but what you say is always so good.  See how hungry I am for your counsel; preserve my life through your righteous ways! 

 This was the first step in bringing healing to my heart. Each day God continued to healing, and I know He is not done yet! His Word,  His truth and getting out of the way was the catalyst for healing.  All long the time there God was healing me, and showing me only I was to blind to see it completely! Several more things happened during my time there that I know was God directed for me to see and know He heard the ramblings of my heart and mind and He was there!  

Our last day in Tocoa was the most powerfully I felt God!  To start that morning a few of us got to tour Dr. Ivan's  private hospital  and then his wife, Lesbiea prayed for each one of us individually, and even though it was in Spanish it was as if my heart knew exactly what she was saying.  I could feel God working through her touch on my heart and my head as she prayed.  The tears falling were like the toxic thoughts and feelings leaving my body.  I felt like that whole day I was on the verge of tears.  That night when it was time for us to leave Tocoa, we were saying our good byes and as a team we were asked to pray for the pastor and his wife, she was feeling alone, tired,etc... just like I was.  Our leader Deb pushed me gently to the front to lay hands on them both and pray! I am not sure what words were spoken I only know that at that moment I felt God holding me and them in His hands, whispering I got you! I love you, you are not alone! Tears streaming down my face, thankfully it was dark and I didn't have to explain to anyone what it was about because I don't think I could! 

Through out the rest of our time in Honduras my eyes were slowly being opened to reveal more of Gods truth, more healing, and that leads me to today. 

We had some missionaries that spoke at church this morning.  They spoke on the parable of the Seed from Matthew 13: 3-8, 18-23 .  It was the perfect ending to my mission trip and last day before I return to work and getting back to life.  He titled his talk the Parable of the Soil.  He talked about the different kinds of soil, the sower, and the seed.  

The Sower = Jesus was the original/ first we are now the sower
The Seed= Gods Word, Telling others Sharing the Gospel
The Soil= The heart condition of the one hearing it

He reminded us to be faithful, keep on sowing the seed!  It's not up to us to save just sow, God will do the saving! 

During the Sunday School hour both missions teams (Chicago, and Honduras) shared about their experiences and from all of this,

I heard God clearly tell me my Mission Field is here, where I am now!
You see I have been saying for the past several years that once our youngest graduates we (my husband and I) will go be missionaries somewhere, Africa maybe, Honduras, who knows but I thought it would be away from what we know, and that may still be the case. I don't know!  But I do know that God does and that in His time He will reveal it to us.  For now I am to be a sower of seeds where I am!  The foreign missions are important, going to other places is important, and if called I will go obediently.  But when I am home here in Augusta I can and should be being a missionary right here!  Sow seeds! Let God worry about the Saving! 

God has given me a heart for girls and women's ministries and I need to follow through on being obedient to that! Sowing seeds into the lives of the girls and women He puts before me.  

This blog will be one way I can do that by sharing my heart, my struggles, my weaknesses, as well as my victories, through Christs leading in my life.  


Christina
Sower of Seeds